|One of the many things she taught me.|
I think it helps that a few years ago my grandmother stuck a 'Children are a Gift from God' sticker on the back of my car so at least people think I'm a good person when I speed past them. Always looking out for me!
I made it to the hospital while she was still responsive, I held her hand and cried and told her she had really bad timing and that I thought we had talked about Save the Dates after my grandfathers funeral. All my aunts and uncles were there, a few cousins and family friends. We decided around 6 that we'd all stay at the hospital that night, as most of us live about an hour away. Luckily one friend was a physician and was able to realize that she was having longer intervals between each breath. Watching her die was the hardest thing I have ever witnessed and also one of the most profound. It immediately makes you realize how vulnerable you are.
Work was amazing, and told me to take as much time as I need. It allowed me to stay up there for the planning process of the funeral, something that I've never really been a part of before. My grandmother, through out the years had planned most of her funeral, finding liturgy in books or magazines, tearing them out and marking them so we would know. The only thing that no one really knew was what songs she wanted played. The problem is I knew, but I couldn't remember. A few years ago we were driving through town by the court house when we started talking about it, I'm not sure how we got on the subject but she told me a few and I remember thinking, this is probably important I should write it down but that's all I can remember about it. Thanks, brain. I think we did a pretty good job of guess work though.
|Need to protect that frontal lobe!|
|Just incase I fall off his lap!|
I pointed this out to my Godfather and his response was "oh yes, you were safety cautions as a child too." I think he was being sarcastic. There seemed to be some pretty awesome hair phases as well. Wayne is trying to convince me my blonde fro is really in right now.
This wasn't the blog that I had initially started working on but I think it's defining. After my grandfather died in 1995 (not the one this past October) my grandmother decided it was time to go to Australia as she had never but wanted to and then she went back 2 years later (I was too young for those trips but we did take some good ones). She realized her own mortality and accepted it but didn't become defined by it. Thursday morning we were talking, my sister who is still in high school wanted to go to the boys playoff game later that day, someone mentioned that people might think it's insensitive. Which quickly prompted the response "Grandma always said life was for the living." After 2 major deaths in less than 5 months I could not say this better. Life is for the living, and as the Dalai Lama said, death is just a change of clothes.