Remedy: to Cure, Relieve, or Heal

"Oh Blimey!" 

Trek must really hate it when I try to buy a bike. I'm actually surprised they still allow me to after the Debacle of 2012 which found me ordering the wrong frame size only to

have them almost run out of the one I needed and get it switched out. After Moab (more on that later) I decided to buy the bike I've been looking at. But like anyone in my family will tell you I'm a little gun-shy when it comes to pulling the trigger on any purchase over $5. I had been contemplating for a while on two models. The Slash or the Remedy, finally when the bike mechanic asked me "do you even own a pair of baggy mountain biking shorts?" I realized the Slash might be a little more than I need right now. He made a valid point though, after playing volleyball for 8+ years I've had a hard time letting go of wearing spandex. Which is why the Superfly worked out nicely because it didn't call for a new wardrobe. I had finally decided to buy it, and started the process of getting the approvals I needed. I checked the stock...2 left. Okay I had an event that night so decided I would fill out the order form after I got home and then fax it in the next day. I checked the stock again when I got home later and saw they only had 1 left...okay I'll just fax it first thing in the morning. I started filling out the paperwork and had to get the part number but I couldn't because it was no longer available. Seriously?!? Who is pulling that bike at 11:30 at night? It was my own fault though so I couldn't really be upset about it. I went to bed and started making a list of all the things I would buy instead, it mainly consisted of shoes. On my ride the next day I was still wallowing in the fact that I had not ordered it sooner, but decided it just wasn't meant to be. I checked my email later and a guy from work had emailed me to see what model I was interested in. I was about to respond that it was out of stock so it didn't really matter when I had a little hankering to double check the stock again, maybe, just maybe. 1 left!! I became frantic and excited in mere seconds with a surge of adrenaline added in. I couldn't remember where I put my form so spent about 4 minutes bolting around looking for it. I remember having the thought "since I'm not going to use this right now I should put it in a place I'll remember for later." Yah...thanks brain.   I finally found it and rushed to the shop. I called Trek to give them a heads up that the form was coming, the guy I usually talk to was gone for the night so wasn't really sure where it'd end up. I was in such a rush the only other thing I put on the form was pedals. I emailed our outside Trek rep the next morning to give him a heads up that I had put my  form in. He replied, "there aren't anymore in your size, sorry." Whomp, whomp. Well it was a valiant effort. Just before I was going to leave work for the day I decided to call our guy at Trek to see if they had processed my form or if I should go buy a pair of shoes. "It got picked today, it's yours we'll ship it out tomorrow." I'm so glad that he couldn't see me through the phone and no one else was in the office because I definitely did my happy dance! I have yet to receive the bike but my pedals did come in, they were, however, the wrong ones. I double checked the form and my part numbers were right. I told one of the guys, "Well at least it's only the wrong pedals and not the wrong bike." Luckily those are a lot easier to send back. 

Moab was incredible! I knew it was going to be fun, but it was like the best time I've ever had fun. It was the perfect place too because it had trails (and golfing) for everyone. The first day we all left from the same trail head but Wayne and I split off from Barb, Molly and Abe soon after. I didn't really like that trail so much, it was a lot of different trail styles and hard to really get into a rhythm.

But we did find Dinosaur tracks!

The next day before Wayne and I left on the Amasa Back Trail we ran into an old hippy who was telling us about all the deaths so far this season, luckily my mom wasn't around and none of the deaths were on that trail. It was a jeep trail, which when I first heard that thought it mostly to be like those in South Dakota, well we are not in South Dakota. When we were at our turn around point there was a hole in the rock that led back into a giant opening (which would be the perfect sunroom). Wayne and I climbed up, he had to help me. I thought I would be okay getting down, I mean what would be hard about getting traction from mountain bike shoes on slick rock? Lots, actually. I didn't want to compromise my short material getting scuffed on the rock so I pushed off a little bit thinking I would just sort of slide down. Which worked until my shoes slid all the way out and I fell directly on the right side of my butt. 

"Yah, you should have said yes when I asked if you wanted help down, that looked like it hurt." Was all Wayne said.

"Oh my gosh! It did, owww!" And that's how I got my worst injury from Moab. 

The final day we saved the best for last. The Whole Enchilada trail is essentially all downhill and entails a shuttle ride to the top. I decided to rent a bike because after doing Amasa Back on my Superfly, I knew something with full suspension would be the way to go. And it was. The top section was still closed due to weather but we got dropped off at the UPS section and it was all downhill from there. We followed Porcupine Rime where the

Best timing I've ever had

trail flirts with being on the edge intermittently. Bad time to realize that I've never gotten over my fear of heights. There were still parts that I walked, especially the parts that were super close to the edge. Nothing like somewhat technical riding next to a super steep cliff to make you a little cautious. Wayne still kicked my butt on all the rides. The bike I rented had a dropper post which is one reason why I decided on the Remedy 9 and not the Remedy 8. The Remedy 9 has a dropper post, which allows you to lower the seat post while riding without getting off the bike to do so. I also found that it was super useful with getting on the bike as well, what with my tight hips and prone to cramping if I lift my leg to high. I could lower it, get on, pop it up and start riding. Wayne rolled his eyes every time I did this. 

Don't Confuse Comfort with Happiness

"I don't think we should tell anyone we work in bike shops."
"Yah definitely not." 

Ninety minutes earlier I had met the Shop Mechanic at his shop so we could carpool to Lookout Mountain and he could pick up a demo bike. In the parking lot as he was sifting through his bike box he asked me if I had things for a flat.
"...Uh...well...I have a tube, but things are a little disheveled from the move (more on that later) so no flat kit, you have stuff right?"
"I have a hand pump. But I don't want to bring it because of the extra weight."
"We'll probably be okay, I have a floor pump and tube and it's not like we're going on a long ride away from civilization and we've never had a flat when we've ridden together." Famous last words.
He drove, and it didn't help that I knew where we were going and he didn't. I forgot to tell him where to turn and only realized it after we had gone a few miles out of the way. We got to Lookout Mountain and started getting ready. Unfortunately his erratic driving and the

This is what his driving felt like

coffee I had that morning proved to be a lethal combination. Because my stomach isn't exactly made of steel or really any robust material I threw up, twice. He asked if I still wanted to ride, "oh yah I should be fine just getting it out of my system". I wasn't flu sick just needed to get my land legs back. I started checking over my bike and inflated the front tire and started to do the rear except when I unscrewed the valved half of it popped off and all the air escaped. Whomp, whomp. Well good thing I had an extra tube and pump in the car. I took the wheel off but without any tire levers I couldn't get the tire off, especailly because the tires I have are notorious for being a pain even with levers. I gave it to the mechanic to have his way with it. He was able to change it out no problem and it seemed to work well until we started putting air in and getting air out through the a hole that was in the new tube. "Well this is great, now we get to pay full price for a tube, maybe the shop will let us use their tire levers but let's not tell them we work at a shop." The shop we went to was pretty chill and I was able to get a tube and change it out there and grab some chews to have something in my stomach so it worked out well. 

Two hours after meeting we were finally on our bikes. Luckily the rest of the ride went smoothly, other than the fact that he beat me up the hill and then relished in the fact as I was throwing up at the top again. He told me its a good thing I was riding with him with how much throwing up I was doing because someone else might think I'm actually out of shape.    

I've actually made the move back to Boulder, I took a position at a shop here. It's weird to think that last year at this time I wasn't even considering moving to Denver and now I'm already back. It's been nice, to be on my bike and riding from my front door instead of having to drive somewhere. People at work do lunchtime rides which is super awesome.

Lunchtime ride, anyone?

It's definitely a transition though, I really liked my house in Denver and my roommate, we lived really well together, and we still have 2 more season of Family Guy to watch so there's that. I did contemplate commuting but that's 2 hours in the car everyday, which just didn't make sense. I'm excited to finally not have a commute though and super pumped about getting  another bike to commute on! And I didn't find my roommate on craigslist so my chances of getting murdered decrease significantly, right?  

I've pretty much just been on my road bike for March. One thing that was nice when I went

Only in South Dakota...

to South Dakota is that because I wasn't planning on going I had my road bike with me to do a ride later that day. I actually got 3 rides in when I was up there and it was the first time I was outside on a road bike since before the crash. I didn't have my helmet with me but found one of my brothers which I road with and then asked him if he had taken any crashes with it, "Probably it's around 8 year old." Great. The rides up there definitely rival some of the road rides here, plus it's so much less populated that I only saw  a few cars when I was out riding.  Boulder does have quiet a few more people to ride with and the scenery definitely doesn't hurt either.

Best kept secret 

I did see my brain therapist too. Which the first test she had me do was basically a sobriety test which I informed her I failed in high school when the state trooper came into our classroom and I was the control, completely sober and Paul David wore the beer goggles and did better than me so not a really accurate thing to go off of. I had to say the alphabet and count at the same time, try it, it's as easy as it sounds and other various activities which I can't exactly remember. My biggest thing still is connecting my thoughts with words, which sometimes gets lost in translation. Certainly improving but lots of occasional word vomit, my new roommate can give you lots of examples I'm sure. She said I was lucky to have that as my main symptom as most people get really bad headaches and migraines, which I've never gotten so I am pretty lucky. She said the biggest thing is time and that it will take more time so gave me some exercises and to check back with her in 3 months because none of my symptoms are actually hindering my lifestyle and doesn't feel it's necessary to check in before then. That's good news, the first month with out doctor appointments...so much time for activities!!! 

This weekend I'm heading to Moab, we're celebrating Barb's birthday by doing lots of riding. It should be lots of fun and a nice break after all the chaos that surrounded March. 

Life is for the Living

The last voicemail I received from my grandmother was when she read my blog about running into the mountain lion. I tend to call her so when she calls I usually let it go to voicemail just because they are pretty funny. In this voicemail she told me how scared she would have been and was glad that I was so brave and then added, it's a good thing you don't have a lot of meat on your bones because when he looked at you he probably realized how much work it would be for such a little reward and didn't think it was worth his time. She had no problem delivering these lines when I was on the phone either. Two weeks ago I was going to meet a friend to ride on trainers. I called her on her on the way to chat and she asked what I was doing that day, I told her I was going to ride my bike but inside because it was pretty windy and I didn't want to have to fight with it. Oh that's good, you don't need any help falling off your bike. 

One of the many things she taught me.

I was lying in bed last Wednesday morning contemplating going for a run when my mom called. I swear hospitals have a very distinctive background noise. My grandmother had suffered a massive stroke earlier that morning and was taken to the hospital by ambulance, they were still in the ER waiting to talk to the neurologist but they did know the next 24-48 hours would be critical. She said she'd call again after talking to the doctor. I had a lot of time before going to work and was planning to stay in Boulder that night so packed everything up that I would need for the rest of the day and the next. My mom called again and after getting off the phone I still wasn't sure if I should go home. I called my dad on the way to work and discussed  if I should go home today or wait until my next day off, Sunday. He conferenced my mom in and it only took him a minute before he said "just come home today" which is all it took. He asked me if I wanted to fly home but at that point logistically it seemed too complicated, I just wanted to get on the road. I stopped by work and told them I was taking a sick day and they told me to go and take care of family. I took off, and what should have taken me close to 7 hours took me closer to 5. 

I think it helps that a few years ago my grandmother stuck a 'Children are a Gift from God' sticker on the back of my car so at least people think I'm a good person when I speed past them. Always looking out for me!

I made it to the hospital while she was still responsive, I held her hand and cried and told her she had really bad timing and that I thought we had talked about Save the Dates after my grandfathers funeral. All my aunts and uncles were there, a few cousins and family friends. We decided around 6 that we'd all stay at the hospital that night, as most of us live about an hour away.  Luckily one friend was a physician and was able to realize that she was having longer intervals between each breath.  Watching her die was the hardest thing I have ever witnessed and also one of the most profound. It immediately makes you realize how vulnerable you are.

Work was amazing, and told me to take as much time as I need. It allowed me to stay up there for the planning process of the funeral, something that I've never really been a part of before. My grandmother, through out the years had planned most of her funeral, finding liturgy in books or magazines, tearing them out and marking them so we would know.  The only thing that no one really knew was what songs she wanted played. The problem is I knew, but I couldn't remember. A few years ago we were driving through town by the court house when we started talking about it, I'm not sure how we got on the subject but she told me a few and I remember thinking, this is probably important I should write it down but that's all I can remember about it. Thanks, brain. I think we did a pretty good job of guess work though. 

Need to protect that frontal lobe!

My grandmother was the last of her generation so a lot of family came to town for it. My cousin kept saying how weird it was that we're our parents generation now. It is. With so many Irish Catholics it made me feel like I was back in college with all the Mary, Margaret, and Katherine's. We spent lots of hours pouring over pictures trying to find the right ones that really captured my grandmother's spirit. On the way to gathering those we found some pretty awesome gems. Frank might be the most smiley man/kid to ever take pictuers. Unfortunately being photogenic did not seem to carry down to Wayne or I. I also found out that as a chid I really liked to wear helmets even when the situation didn't warrant one. 

Just incase I fall off his lap!

I pointed this out to my Godfather and his response was "oh yes, you were safety cautions as a child too." I think he was being sarcastic. There seemed to be some pretty awesome hair phases as well. Wayne is trying to convince me my blonde fro is really in right now.  

This wasn't the blog that I had initially started working on but I think it's defining.  After my grandfather died in 1995 (not the one this past October) my grandmother decided it was time to go to Australia as she had never but wanted to and then she went back 2 years later (I was too young for those trips but we did take some good ones). She realized her own mortality and accepted it but didn't become defined by it. Thursday morning we were talking, my sister who is still in high school wanted to go to the boys playoff game later that day, someone mentioned that people might think it's insensitive. Which quickly prompted the response "Grandma always said life was for the living." After 2 major deaths in less than 5 months I could not say this better. Life is for the living, and as the Dalai Lama said, death is just a change of clothes. 

It's Only A Game When You're Losing

Before the hunt

Got my t-shirt and picture with the yeti...do I still need to run? I texted this to Molly before the 5K I did the other weekend. She didn't respond and I had already told my Godfather about it which his response was "make the family proud." I decided since I had dragged myself out of bed after 4 hours of sleep (insomnia=sooo much time for activities). I might as well run. They gave the Yeti a head start and then started the pack.  My game plan was to work on chasing down the Yeti, which was a good plan until we were half a mile in and the Yeti pulled off to the side and started cheering for people. I was mildly disappointed because that wasn't exactly the chase I had envisioned as it didn't result in hunting him down and tackling him (I'm trying to be more aggressive). The first mile went by pretty fast, 7:14  to be exact which my thought when I passed the 1 mile mark was, Holy Cow, I am SO fast! It's not my fastest mile but I wasn't really expecting that. I didn't continue that pace, I was so worried I would bonk if I did that I settled into a more relaxed pace. Mile 2, I went back and forth with an 8 year old. I pulled ahead going into mile 3 and then coming into the home stretch she sprinted ahead and beat me.  I figured it was karma because I can remember running the Main Street Mile in moccasins when I was 5/6 and I'm sure that pissed off the older people I beat. When I got done I wasn't really sure what to do. I thought about throwing up just because that seems to be something runners do and the coffee I had before wasn't really sitting well but I didn't really run that fast and didn't want people to perceive me as being a real runner. I grabbed some oranges and water and walked around loading up on free stuff. At this point they were starting the awards and figured since my age group would be close to the beginning I should stick around and see who beat me and see what a good time is. They called out third and second place and then they called my name. Wait, what? They know I'm not a real runner, right? 

Is this real life?!?

I went up to get my prize, which was a glass. I then double checked the posted results to A.) Make sure I had actually won and B.) Make sure there were other girls in my age group. I did and there was. My time wasn't super stellar, 25:34 (for those of you who will check online I'm not lying). I realized that if you are really good at a 5K you probably challenge yourself with a 10K. I still liked winning though, even if it was just an event. 

I went for a ride after the race, because like Wayne says riding your bike isn't exercise, it's fun. I had planned to do the race on Saturday and ride on Sunday. It was a great plan until Friday night when I went to look up directions and go over parking information. I opened up the last email from the race director and the first line said "The weather looks great for Sunday!" No...no... the race is on Saturday. Then I double checked my dates and realized that it was on Sunday...NOOOO! I had structured my running/riding times around it being on Saturday. I had an event to go to on Saturday afternoon and since there wouldn't be enough time to ride and get ready for it I thought the race would work out well in the morning. Thus leaving all day Sunday to ride. Since I really wanted to ride I did. Luckily 1 out of the 6 people I asked to go riding was not up skiing so we did Chimney Gulch all the way up and then down. I'm happy to report no crashes over waterbars and no mountain lion sightings so all around it was a great day. 

What the cool kids do

Because I promised my parents I would try not to ride alone anymore I took Molly and Abe to Marshall Mesa last weekend. They definitely did not crash as much as I did the first couple of times I went out. They were good sports as I drug them through some pretty muddy sections and got their bikes all dirty. They kept apologizing for being slow and I just kept telling them I was paying it forward for all the times Barb waited and was patient with me. I think we might be planning a trip to Moab soon! 

The next day one of the girls that I'm doing the Breck 100 with was doing Picture Rock. It's a trail that connects Heil to Hall Ranch. I've done Heil and I've done Hall but never that section. As we started riding there was a sign that said "Mountain Lion Habitat" well that's great. The girl told me that she had bear spray so if I got attacked she'd have my back. The trail was about 10 miles total. It was pretty smooth at the beginning but towards the top got a little choppy with little rocks here and there. The way down I definitely felt quiet a few of those bumps, which made me think even more about a full suspension. Then I saw 2 guys on hardtail single-speeds and realized how much more of badass I would be if I was on one of those. 

Leadville releases its lottery selection on Friday.  I never did hear back from the lady I emailed to remind  about the medical deferral. Part of me is waiting to see if their reaction will be more like- "Ha! Just kidding, we got you good though, huh?" I don't think my mom would be too upset about that decision. If that did happen I would probably buy the Slash (6 inches of travel!!) on Saturday and sign up for some enduro races. I am on the waiting list for the Big Mountain Enduro Series race in Moab. It's in September and I wasn't going to but the other day got a text from a friend that said, "I was persuaded and registered for the BME at Moab. Now you need to get yourself a full suspension so you can come play on the big mountains." It's very tempting. 

Round 2: Leadville-1 Kate-0

"What better way to bring in your prime reproductive years than to run a marathon?"

"No, I'm not spending my birthday running a marathon, especially not Leadville. And I've already run a marathon, I'm over it" 

"Yah..but you could train for this one, with me, it'll be fun!" 

"6000+ feet of climbing is not fun."

This is how the conversation went when one of the guys was trying to talk me into signing up for the Leadville Marathon. I still have till end of June to sign up for it and I'm pretty bad at saying no to peer pressure (except when it comes to drugs) so we'll see. I did sign up for the Leadville MTB 100. I had to put in for the lottery again and email the lady I talked to this summer to remind her about the medical deferral. I thought about emailing her to see if other people signed up with me if they would get in but decided not to push my luck. I had to pay the $15 to enter the lottery and then I'll pay the entry fee again. After I registered I put my credit card in my change jar on my desk because last year after I registered Wayne and I were driving home and I gave him my card to buy gas while I went inside and he lost it. It was quite the production tracking down the right people to switch out the card numbers so better safe than sorry. I kept putting off signing up because last year I remember it being a tedious process (if I even really remember it) where they ask you a bunch of questions about your bike and your history and if you're a member of this and that. I finally blocked out 30 minutes to do it and it was nothing like last year. They get your name and address, if you're a member of Lifetime Fitness, if you'd like to donate to IMBA and another place and then they ask you "Do you have an exceptional story about your journey to the LT 100?" Oh you betcha!

I haven't started training yet. I am riding my bike (not by myself though). I put my road bike up on the trainer, which has been hard because it's been pretty nice out and I want to go mountain biking but figure I should give my parents a few weeks to let their stress levels stabilize before I venture out on my own again. My mom sent me Downton Abbey to watch while I ride, apparently she bought it and watched it while she babysat me after the crash. I don't remember this happening though so it's all new to me. It's actually not bad. It came out my senior year of college and I didn't really give it a chance because the kids who were all about it were the same kids who spent multiple hours in the dining hall figuring out the Kennedy family tree to see which ones they could marry.....

I rode Hall Ranch with Wayne last weekend. I really like how challenging it is, it helps that I always forget how rocky it is until I'm riding it. The only problem I have with it is I get done and think about how much I want a full suspension long travel bike to bomb down it with. I'm doing my best to resist those urges to buy one right now. I still have problems with committing though. Three times I almost went over the bars because I bailed halfway through a decent. Once getting stuck on the edge of a rock while my bike swung around and I put one leg up to stop it from falling over while still holding onto the handlebars and then essentially getting stuck in the Captain Morgan pose. I wasn't exactly sure how to get out of it without injuring myself or my bike so stood on that one leg for a good 30 seconds. 

Definitely not as suave

Wayne just stopped and watched this unfold and after I said, "I'm stuck!" He said, "that's not how you're suppose to ride your bike." Clearly. 

When I was telling one of the guys about the ride he said I just need to go downhilling because "you either commit or you die! You'll get over your commitment issues reallllll fast!"

"You'll die, really?" I was skeptical.

"Yes...YOU will die." 

I still have a few more weeks of not drinking. It's not bad going out and it's great because then I can just drive home. When I go out with Wayne he lets everyone know that I won't be drinking because I have a TBI. I thought this was something that only he did, but it's not. I went to the mountains with some friends and at the first bar when we went up to order drinks one of the guys tells the bartender, "and she's not drinking because she has a TBI, not because she's morally opposed to it." I guess it's better than telling people "I'm not drinking because I donated a kidney to my brother after his accident."

My PT is happy with the progress I've been making. He's one of the few people that calls me "Kat" which the first time I thought I just misunderstood him and then it got to the point where it was awkward to correct him and now I've just accepted it. I notice more pain with riding and especially on my road bike. It's almost like there is calcified tissue just sitting where the fracture was because there is definitely a bump still there and it's pretty gross to touch. I actually have a strong aversion to bones, I used to shadow an orthopedic surgeon and I can remember watching a shoulder surgery where he cut off part of the bone and that's when I almost threw up and crossed orthopedic anything off my list.  Whenever I feel it a pit starts forming in my stomach. 

This view never gets old

I signed up for a 5K this weekend, the Yeti Chase. I'm just hoping that they have cool t-shirts. It's weird because I've never done a running event by myself before. Do I just show up, run and then go home? Besides the Turkey Trot the last one I remember doing was before my junior year of college as part of our summer training for volleyball. When I got done they actually thought it was Mary Clair who had ran it so I'm not even sure if that's really documented. 

One Lucky SOB

If attacked, fight back works for a lot of things in life

If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me that I'm one lucky SOB I'd at least have 4 and that's just from one day. I decided to go for a ride last Thursday because it was suppose to be the last warm day for a while (rumor was a month but I think it's only a few days) and really wanted to ride. I haven't ridden since I did Hall a few weeks ago and started to get cabin fever so decided I would ride in the morning before work. I decided to do Chimney Gulch, the one I had done with Wayne at the beginning of December but skip the section with the waterbars (because I was going to be riding alone didn't want to crash over one and get knocked out). There is a place you can park that skips that section so I did that. I texted my roommate to tell him where I was riding and told him I should be off the trail by 11 (I always add in an hour extra than what I plan on riding just for shenanigans). I wasn't planning on being out that long so stuffed everything into my jersey pockets. Which means I left my knife in the car (If I learned one thing from 127 Hours it's to always have a sharp knife on you) but figured I'd be okay because it runs parallel with a paved road that has bikers on it all the time. I started the ride and the trail was in good condition some snowy patches in shaded coverage but that was about it. You climb for a little bit at the beginning and then the trail flattens out before it dips down into tree coverage and then you climb out and then you're pretty much at the top. I was turning the bend where it starts to flatten out when I saw something out of the corner of my eye bounding up the hill out of the grass about 20 feet in front of me. "Huh, that's a really big coyote....oh shit, that's a mountain lion." I stopped and it stopped on the trail and had its back turned to me. I froze for a second almost out of curiosity, I've never seen one and was captivated by it and then I remembered it kills people. I didn't want to turn around when it had its back to me because like my high school track coach said you should always see what's going to kill you (he used this when it came to running against traffic). I grabbed my phone (because I still had 2 hours until anyone was expecting to hear from me) and my tool was in the same pocket. Not that my tool would really do anything to it. And then it turned and looked at me. Not going to lie I might of peed a little. It seemed like a few minutes but I'm sure it was mere seconds that we held the death stare when I threw my tool down on a nearby rock to hopefully startle him. It did and he turned and scampered down the hill. I picked my tool up and stuffed it back into my jersey with my phone and then kept riding. This is how I know my frontal lobe is still damaged. Those critical thinking skills just aren't there yet. It was about 1/2 mile before I heard my Godfather's voice go "How's this report going to look?" 

I should probably just stick to writing....

Which he always asks if I'm debating doing something stupid. I started to get into the tree coverage area when I realized just how stupid I was being. I was lucky that I saw him the first time but I probably wouldn't see him the second time. I turned around and booked it back to my car. I texted my roommate a mere 30 minutes after my initial text "....yah, I'm off the trail there was a mountain lion so I'm going to go run in the park where people are." I didn't call home for a few days after that because I knew I didn't want to tell my parents and freak them out so sorry mom and dad you had to find out this way. I did tell my Godfather just because of his voice popping into my head I figured he would be pleased to hear that. He asked me if I got a picture. I told him that I wasn't exactly thinking about my blog at that point. He said too bad I should just draw one.  The picture isn't that accurate, I cut my hair so my braids aren't that long and I was wearing knickers not short shorts. But the mountain lion was definitely bigger than me. Just kidding. 

You'd be scared to not do your exercises with this guy

When I was driving home one of the thoughts I had was, well at least I'll have something to tell my physical therapist. Last time he asked me to tell him stories of my adventures the most exciting thing I had was I finished my book. The therapist is really cool though, if The Dude from The Big Levowski was a hand therapist this would be him, he even looks like Jeff Bridges. The first time I was in he was evaluating my strength and flexibility on both hands and after my right hand grip test he asked me what else I do besides biking. I tried to think of all the activities I do related to hand use and rattled off a few, "running, reading, knitting, writing, and swimming, not so much with the swimming and knitting these days because those bother my hand a little much." 
"Hmm well your grip strength is off the charts." I thought he was being sarcastic so I laughed and told him some of the guys at the shop call me farm strong. He wasn't kidding though. For a girl my age the normal range is 37-59 pounds. I'm at 87 for my right hand my left hand (which was broken for 5 months) is in the normal range at 39. He's also pretty funny which is good because I'm stuck with him for 45 minutes two times a week. He was asking me what I want to do with my life and I responded with my generic "oh you know maybe this maybe that." He suggested I go to school to be a hand therapist so I can give hand jobs the rest of my life. I told him I might just so I can make jokes like that! The exercises are definitely helping though, I get to play with silly putty two times a day as part of it it. I still notice some limitations with flexibility and strength but I'm sure it'll get there. I did play volleyball one night and bruised my left hand on the outside. I was trying to get a ball out the net and when I fell and I must have stuck out my hand but didn't want to catch myself with it so smacked it right where the ulna and triquertrum meet. It left a bruise which my therapist wasn't too happy about. I told him it's kind of funny though because I've been played volleyball pretty consistently for a good 7 years and never injured my hands in any capacity, not even jammed figures from blocking. He didn't think it was that funny and just said he was putting it in my file to cover his ass. 

I'm pretty good at that!

I've noticed more improvements with my head, at least when it comes to long term memory. One of my friends was talking about her favorite movie, The Sound of Music and how the younger ones have a ski resort in Vermont and I said, "Greta?" which I have no idea how I remembered that but was really excited when I did. I also go my hair cut recently and had seen her before Halloween when she was telling me about her costume and I remembered that she was going as a Toddlers in Tiaras with her friends. There are still definitely lapses. The new running shoes I ordered I wasn't super stoked on, well I was because they're awesome trail running shoes but I thought I ordered them in blue but was super excited and surprised when I received purple and green. I doubled checked to make sure they didn't mess up my order and I ordered them in purple and green. I also went to Zero Dark Thirty the other night (which is a great movie) and was really amazed at how fast the production happened given we had just killed Bin Laden in May, and then I realized I was missing another year. Whomp whomp. 

"This photo validates how cool I am" said everyone on instagram.

Running has been going well, I'm thinking about signing up for a 5K just to see where I'm at. Because my therapy appointments are in Boulder I usually run after those but before going to work (thank goodness we have a shower at work!). The only problem is that it tends to be a little windier there than in Denver, which is great when it's a tail wind it just sucks when you turn around and it's like running into a brick wall. It reminds me of the sled pulls we used to have to do in college for volleyball the only big difference is that I don't throw up after. 

When All Else Fails, Start Running

At the top of Hall

I finally got my stitches taken out. It definitely helped that the whole way (60 miles) to the doctor's office my mom kept asking me, "What are you going to ask the doctor." So when the nurse called my name in the waiting room I immediately said, "Can you take my stitches out?!??" Which they were clueless as to why I even had stitches since it was a different doctor but at least they're out. I also got my cast off which has led to me getting more compliments on my hair because now I can spend time blow-drying my hair and not my cast. I start physical therapy tomorrow (which at this point I should have just stayed living in Boulder) and I'm not sure what they'll make me do, my strength is still lacking and my flexibility is still the same that it was before the cast so hopefully they can fix that. I did Hall Ranch a few days after I got my cast off, I wasn't really planning on doing it so there was no one to go with me but I did tell someone where I was going. I really like riding by myself because I can work on skills that I want to and ride sections multiple times but it's not great when you crash and random people find you (you can't have your cake and eat it too, I suppose). It was really fun and a really good thing that when I rode it with Wayne and his friend they didn't think the rock garden would be good to go down with my cast, and they were right there is no way I would have made it out of there without going over the handlebars. I definitely needed to be able to hold onto the handlebars and use the brake. It also got me on a kick about getting a full suspension bike with it geared more towards downhilling. That definitely might be medicated, or post concussion me talking. Ever since the crash I've had a really intense need to go downhilling, I keep telling people I want the snow to melt so Winterpark can open back up for bikes (I'm finding people in Colorado really like snow and being able to go skiing so I have to be careful who I tell this to). The guys at the shop almost had me talked into a bike too, but I googled "impulse decisions and concussions" and realized it might still be just a symptom and I should probably hold off on that decision at least for a few weeks. Stay tuned.

I need a new habit....

I did crash and got the worse bruise I've had all season. Not on the Hall Ranch ride though, oh no, that would have made too much sense. A few days later Wayne and I were riding from his house to his friends for a Christmas party. I was on his commuter and I made him carry the bin full of cookies "just incase". It had snowed that day and the sidewalks were still pretty icy. I was being super cautious because someone told me my clumsiness is a habit that is formed out of my carelessness when I'm not paying attention. I was being really meticulous about my movements and really paying attention to what the bike was doing. I was doing a great job navigating the streets too and was really proud of myself when I saw that I had made it to the driveway of the house. (Clearly I should not count my chickens before they hatch.) I put one foot down so I wouldn't ramp up the curb and completely lost my footing and the bike went out one way and I went the other leaving me completely sprawled out in the driveway. Fortunately Wayne was far enough ahead he didn't even notice and no one inside looked out the window to see me spread eagle in the driveway. It wasn't until later that I noticed the blood soaking through my jeans that I realized I smacked the ground pretty good. The bruise followed the next day and is still there. Good thing I'm a pro at getting blood out of clothes.

I know you're jealous.

Christmas was good, I spent about 6 days at home which was really nice but also a bit of a mad rush to see everyone. I was a little nervous for Christmas morning because after the car hit me I ended up with 5 safety vests (apparently no one talked to each other that year...). I got a new jersey from the shop I worked at in college because the one I had from them I was planning on wearing for Leadville but I also wore it the day that I crashed and now it has a gaping hole in it. Now I don't have to spend months trying to figure out what to wear! My Godfather did give me a water-bottle too. He really put a lot of thought into it too because he found it on the side of the road during the US Pro Cycling Challenge from someone on the Astana team. I'm definitely his favorite because he got that for me in August. He also got me a book about marathon training and a subscription to Runner's World. He spends a lot of time trying to convert me to the dark side, but it's slowly getting to me.

They'll definitely find me!!

 My grandmother, bless her heart, did give me a sparkly red hat to wear when I ride so that "when you crash they'll be able to find you easier."

Who wants to join?

 I've really gotten on a kick with running lately though, which I'm not sure if it's post concussion, medicated, normal me or my Godfather finally getting through. I don't think it's normal because I've never really enjoyed running I just do it to supplement the activities I actually enjoy. Last year, in the same time span I ran a total of 30 miles, 26.2 of those were the marathon and the other 3.8 was the training run before hand. I went to Apsen with some friends over New Year's and packed my thermal running tights just incase I felt compelled to run in 5 degrees. I did, every day we were there. It was gorgeous and so much fun, there was a trail that went right out of our condo and then into the forest and crossed some ski runs and then back into the forest with amazing views and a really peaceful aura. Last year I wore those same tights once  and that was at our outside sale in March, I thought it would be cold so I wore them under my jeans. I got so excited about running that when I got home I ordered some trail running shoes. However, one of the problems I'm finding  I have with running (besides not being able to go super fast) is how quickly I lose toenails. When I took my toe nail polish off today I realized I have 2 black toenails and there is no way that they are not going to fall off. Which would take me down to 7 toenails.... The only good thing is that I get a discount on pedicures if I have 7 toenails.

I'm planning on setting my bike up on my trainer on Sunday or Monday and start building my base back up (which might stabilize my runner's high). I'm trying to figure out what TV series I want to get into for it. A couple people have  suggested Breaking Bad, Dexter, or Girls. I went to Best Buy to look at what they had but was not impressed; the only series that they had the first season for was American Horror Story which is just what I want to watch before I go to sleep. If you have any suggestions I'll at least probably take whatever into consideration (I don't have cable and have no idea what is on TV). You don't need to suggest Desperate Housewives, I watched all the seasons when I was recovering from surgery a few years ago.

Story of my life....

The lottery for Leadville is open, I asked Wayne if he wanted me to sign him up again but he said no and I haven't talked any of the guys in the shop to put in for it. I haven't signed up for it or emailed that lady about it either. I'll probably put it on my list of things to do in the next few days and maybe see if I can talk a few kids into signing up too. I'm also super pumped that there is no leap day this year because my parents made me the same offer they did last year. If I don't meet the insurance deductible they'll pay it to me. Leap Day definitely through it all off though, I have a really good feeling about this year.