It's Not A Tumor

Sully can impersonate this pretty well.

I haven't been feeling like myself lately. And when I say lately I mean the past 10 months. I haven't been wanting to post until I figured out what it was because it seemed like we were close but since ruling out a brain tumor we're back to square one.

Look at that healthy brain!

Initially I thought I was just recovering from Leadville, and then things at worked changed and then I was studying for the GRE and then I was taking the GRE and then I was moving and then I was switching jobs and then I was starting to up my training and then I was trying to race and then I knew something was off. Not terribly off  just not right, but off enough. I saw a doctor who chalked it up to just "paying the price of being on birth control" when I mentioned that might part of
the issue. Yah, uhh okay. I went and saw my doctor, the one who navigated everything with my brain injury and told her everything. She ran all the tests she could and then some. I apparently have an abnormally high amount of a hormone that can lead to issues later on and cause some problems now (biggest one, fatigue) the number one cause for most is a tumor pushing on the pituitary gland. I had to get a Brain MRI to rule out a tumor, which I did and then they did. Which puts up back to mostly square one and off to see an endocrinologist.

Not that it's really super significant to write about my medical life but a little because well mostly it has been impacting my riding. As a result I seem to end up more on my Remedy or my single speed cross bike because well it's a little depressing to get on my race bike and feel like I'm out for a Sunday stroll. I feel like I'm missing that next gear, to kick it in and go.

My current nemesis

It hasn't been awful, there are certainly more dreadful things I could be facing. I've gotten a little better at riding my Green Machine (remedy) and have found a new focus after Leadville. There is a technical trail outside of town that has a technical rock section. I can occasionally clear the whole section going down (except a left turn off a rock at the top, I can't turn left!) if I haven't bonked or started crying. But there is a huge rock that I cannot get up. I like riding with Sully I do, I really do, he has lots of skills so he can pick a line and go and he makes it, with flat pedals or clipped in. I on the other hand have been working and reworking lines to try and muscle up all my strength to get up and over. The past two times were actually progress. Our last time Sully and I must have spent good 15 minutes of the ride up on this one particular section. We talked lines and I tried different routes when finally the stars aligned and I was able to ride up onto the rock slab take the line that sent me onto a little rock that made the lift to the big rock shorter than other places. That's all I did was get my front wheel on the big rock and without much more momentum to carry me I stopped. It was a step though, and the building block I need to keep going with it.

Since then I have ridden it by myself only to rework and reride the line multiple times only lifting my front wheel onto the larger rock but never having that kick to really get up. But it's progress. As as result I haven't thought much of the other sections and when I conquer this I will be like a kid who only has once magic trick and when asked to see more try to convience the person that the one I have is so amazing I don't need anything else. I'll cross that bridge at some point though.

And occasionally this still happens....

I turn 25 this weekend, which I'm not super stoked on. Mainly because it only means one more year on my parent's health insurance. I also have the Firecracker 50 and SilverRush 50 coming up in the next three weeks. I was hoping to do the Firecracker as a team (each person does one 25 mile lap) but haven't locked down a partner and I'm don't feel super confident on my long distance riding abilities right now to really try to track down a teammate when I might completely bonk. If your interested though, let me know. One requirement: no expectations.  Even the SilverRush is up in the air at this point.